I will preface this post with, these are not things I learned from my own childhood.

I was not blessed with the typical father/daughter relationship. The kind that could have spared me from years of self-hatred, doubt, and way too many toxic relationships. No “Daddy’s Girl” paraphernalia, no daddy-daughter dance, no positive male feedback at all, at any point in my childhood.

Somehow, though, through a ton of self-reflection and a whole lot more ‘learning from experience’, I beat the odds.

Having fixated on every statistic that tried to prove that all girls who grew up without a strong father figure were destined for a life of failed relationships and misery – I strived to fall out of that sad life-sentence. I found my prince charming.

He gave me a beautiful daughter – and through careful observation of their relationship, which blossoms and grows stronger with each passing day, I have learned the four most important things that every girl should be receiving from her father. The things that certainly could have helped me through my childhood.

Here they are, not in any particular order, as they are all equally important:

4. Compliment her.

All girls need to hear it. The more they hear it from you, the less they’ll seek validation elsewhere. A simple, “you look beautiful,” will not turn her into a vain, self-absorbed, teenager. A “you’re so smart and capable,” in moments of frustration will not turn her into a boastful know-it-all.

It will only help reinforce the fact that the most important man in the world finds her absolutely wonderful in so many ways. And there is nothing more important for a young girls’ confidence than that.

3. Support her endeavors – be there.

Dance recital? She’ll be looking for you in the crowd. Soccer game? She’ll play better with Daddy rooting her on. Taking up a hobby/job/relationship you don’t agree with? Hear her out, support her efforts, give her advice should she need it.

Never tear her down. Never respond to her failures with an, “I told you so.”

That’s not your job. Your job is to remind your daughter, every step of the way and through every phase of her life, that you support her, you’ll be there, and it won’t ever be a question.

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