I have been counting down the top 5 behaviors that cause parents to lose it. In case you missed it, I have already written about back talk and tantrums. Today, I am addressing number 3 on the list, not listening.

When parents say, "my child doesn't LISTEN", what they mean is, "my child doesn't do what I say when I say it."

Am I right? In my experience, children are almost always listening (try whispering something random when you think they're not.) However, they may not respond, or as quickly as you may like, and that's frustrating. We want our children to cooperate without having to ask them 5 times, so what can we do to make that happen?

Ironically, the way we usually try and gain cooperation from our children actually causes them to tune us out. Nagging, lecturing, counting, and demanding do nothing to foster cooperation. Punishments or the threat of punishments may compel a child to act, but that isn't real cooperation.

First things first, the relationship is key. If you have a child who rarely listens (i.e. does what you ask), then you may need to work on your connection with that child. Generally people want to help others when we feel good about them and ourselves. How much quality time have you been giving him?

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Related Article: 4 Parental Behaviors to Avoid