“In our happiest of childhood memories, our parents were happy, too.” – Robert Brault
I’ve been thinking about happiness a lot lately. As parents, we often think about how to raise children who are happy and thriving, and I think about that plenty, too, but in the past several months, I’ve been thinking about how our own happiness affects our children.
This led me to ask my 7 year old this question – “If you had to choose, would you rather have all the toys on your wish list or happy parents?” He didn’t miss a beat before he answered, “Happy parents. I mean, it’d be nice to have all the toys, but it’s more important that you and dad are happy.”
I was floored. This little boy of mine would choose my happiness over all the toys. My curiosity piqued, I went on to ask, “Does it affect you when you think one of us might be unhappy? What does it feel like?”
“Yeah,” he said. “It makes me feel kind of…” and he made a yucky face. Apparently, feeling that their parents might be unhappy makes kids feel yucky. Or at least, it makes my kid feel yucky. I’m willing to bet, however, that most children would have the same response because I think their parents’ happiness matters to them a lot more than we think it does.
I couldn’t find much in my research on the topic, but there is information about how depression affects children. Still, I didn’t need a peer-reviewed paper to tell me that it matters. I have a 7 year old who told me.
Since my conversation with my son, I’ve been reading a lot about happiness. Most of them say the same things: Eat healthy, exercise, manage stress, and limit screen time. Those are all solid suggestions for sure, but I wanted something more, so I kept reading and taking notes. As a result, here are 4 habits I’m convinced will make us happier parents.
If you’ve read my new book, you know this is a challenge I’ve tackled before. I even list the steps to become a more positive thinker in the book.
It takes a lot of willpower at first, but it gets easier with time.
I mean really connect, not just occupy the same space. You see, they tell us to get off our screens, and we should, but if we sign off and still don’t make an effort to communicate and connect with those we love, what’s the point?
I think often times parents think that because we do so much for our children, surely they feel connected to us. This isn’t necessarily true. It isn’t about the quantity of things we do for them but the quality of the time we spend with them. Read this article for 10 Ways to Connect with Your Child.
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