Every parent, perhaps with the exception of Warren Buffet, has unfulfilled dreams. As tempting as it is to have those ambitions fulfilled through your child, it’s critical not to impose your own dreams onto your child, who will likely only end up resenting you. Rather than expecting them to follow your template, seek to understand who they are and what makes them tick.
The only way to get to know your child is to get to know your child. So shut off your phone from time to time (or at least put it on silent), and engage in mindful parenting.
And start thinking about following opportunity passionately. Don’t be afraid to expose your child to things he may not like or be good at. A child’s brain is uniquely primed for learning—it doesn’t have to be forced. Kids don’t have to be the best at something to have fun, which is an important lesson to learn. Like happiness, finding a passion is often a byproduct and seldom results from making it the goal.
So teach your child to practice when he isn’t inspired, to try new things when it’s scary, and to accept failure as a necessary part of learning. Just as it’s more powerful to know how to learn than what you learn, it’s more important to learn how to pursue a passion than finding it.
Deborah Song
