Likewise, if one family member falls away from helping out, the family doesn't run correctly. In our family meetings, I allow them to choose the ways in which they plan to contribute for the coming week. When children have a say in what they do, they're much more cooperative.
3. See that contributions are completed by older children by using when/then statements. It's important to be mindful of your new attitude around family work. If your connection to your child is good, the child has some say in the work she does, and there is a spirit of fun and enjoyment, kids are much less likely to resist. And allowing them to resist sometimes is perfectly okay. When you try to force it, you bring the negativity back in, and negativity invites resistance. However, that doesn't mean she can always shirk her responsibilities, so if it becomes a problem, use a simple when/then statement. “When your room is clean, then we will play together.”
4. Show appreciation! Remember that what you focus on grows. When you notice and show appreciation each time your child has contributed to the family work, you're growing positive associations with helping out.
Teaching kids to help out doesn't have to be such a drag. We just have to be creative and approach it from a new angle. Remember, your positive attitude is key, and so is the language you use! Cultivate a spirit of teamwork, and the stress will drain out of “chores.”
