Self-awareness is an important part of parenting. I believe that knowing, understanding, and accepting ourselves is key to being thriving mothers. In my new book, The Gift of a Happy Mother, I admit, “If introversion were on a sliding scale, I’d be toes off the ledge on the ‘extremely introverted’ side.” Author Jenn Granneman describes introversion succinctly. She says, “Introverts live in two worlds: We visit the world of people, but solitude and the inner world will always be our home.” The challenge with being an introverted mother is that solitude is so very rare in those early years, and we must live in the “world of people” far too much. In other words, because we have to be so cognizant of our surroundings and nearly always engaged with our children, we don’t get the required “inner world” time to reflect and recharge. This can leave us feeling talked out, touched out, and overwhelmed.
Unfortunately, the result for introverted moms is often that we carry too much guilt – guilt for wanting to be alone and guilt for feeling overwhelmed. After all, didn’t we want this child? Aren’t we happy to be parents? Shouldn’t we be enjoying every moment!? We are overdosing on guilt because of a personality trait we cannot control. This is why understanding your needs and personality is key, because it 1) eases the guilt, 2) guides you toward thoughtful planning, and 3) uncovers your strengths as an introverted mom.
Meet Your Strengths
There are many strengths that introverts possess, but here are just five that stand out in motherhood.
1. Creativity springs from solitude. Because introverts spend more time alone and in their heads than their extroverted friends, they are often very creative people. Creative minds like J.K. Rowling, Steven Spielberg, Bill Gates, Einstein, and Dr. Seuss all share your introversion. Being a creative parent certainly has its perks! You’re always coming up with new ideas of fun ways to keep your child entertained.
2. You’re a thinker and a problem-solver. Introverts are always (always!) thinking. Naturally this helps us think through problems and find creative solutions. If something isn’t working in your parenting, or if your child is struggling with a problem and needs helped, you’re well-equipped to figure it out and make things better.
3. You’re a great listener, too. Active listening is a valuable skill, and most introverts are naturally good at it. Whereas extroverts often jump in too quickly or are quick to offer opinions, introverts listen without obsessing over how to respond. We take it in and think about it before responding, and that makes us valuable and trusted friends, colleagues, parents, and leaders. Your child will always feel like she can come to you because she knows you’ll listen well!
